Sometimes it funny how you end up working at a job

Sometimes you can sleep your way to the top (or the bottom), sometimes its a bribe, sometimes its just dumb luck. I had a friend once who got a job because he sat on a flag pole and was then hired by centrepoint management. I went through a very different process for my job here at Happy Friday inc. I just hung around. There was only so much The CEO of HF could take of me hanging round him like a bad smell. Literally. I didnt bathe in months. Eventually he decided to give me a job as long as I showered and got rid of that funky smell. So what job did I get? I am the National Funky Bunch manager for HF, although I think that is more because my name is Mark and Sandwich has an unnerving obsession with Mark Whalberg.

My first job has been to sculpt the 7 metre sculpture of a dinosaur crossed with a Portuguese elf. If only I had artistic talents. Oh who am I kidding, If only I had talent. My second job was to find something "funky". After delivering to the CEO in succession

1) A piece of poo (It smelt funky)
2) A portugese woman with braided armpit hair down to her ankles
3) Bert Newtons toupee
4) Patty Newtons toupee
5) Ray Martins toupee

and more, I was instructed that what I needed to find were some funny things off the interweb. Fine I replied and off I went. Luckily Toots Mahal was able to interpret for me that interweb meant the net and I would find that on something called a computer. Again I was lucky as Sandwich was kind enough to have a flashing neon sign above my desk saying THIS IS A COMPUTER. The next 2 days was full of fun and frivolity as I worked out... wait for it.... not only how to turn it on (I know I am so smart) but also how to open the interweb. I opened a recommended search site (google.com) and decided to type in my name. I got over a million hits but nothing about my name in any of them. In fact, it seemed every entry had a mention of b*obs in it. So there went the next 2 days of my working life.

This left me with one day to find something "funky". I hope what I have found is ok with the boss.

For something different (and funky) I thought on behalf of HFInc, I hope you all come back to work on Monday with a dr*g related injury (just panadol will be fine), dont end up in bed with Barbara Streisand (that nose is scary in the morning) and dont get stuck behind an old person with permanent flatulence (although if you do see my grandma can you let me know as she escaped from the home last week).

Regards
Marky Mark
National Funky Bunch Manager